Friends

Friends.

Family you choose.

I have many friends. Most of them are extraverts.

I am an introvert.

This causes problems when I move to a place 1,135.1 miles from most of my friends and have to begin making new ones.

I've had some difficulty making friends here, and actually (stupidly) blamed others on my hall for excluding me when in fact my introverted tendencies were getting in the way of people coming to socialize with me. As an introvert, at the end of a people-filled day at college I like to close my door, curl up with my homework, and recharge my drained social batteries. I usually close my door, not because I don't want anyone to come in, but because I don't want EVERYONE to come in (which is actually a problem sometimes on a [wonderful] hall like mine where everyone is so extraverted and wants to be with me/you all the time). But people see a closed door as "I'm busy/sleeping, leave me alone," so them leaving me alone is really my fault. Duh.

I've made connections with a handful of girls on my floor, but the lack of creation of what I like to call "true friends" or "life-friends" has left me pretty disappointed. But let's look at my expectations:

1. As I am on the quarter system, I got the lovely privilege (complete sarcasm) of seeing my friends leave for their first semester, make a bunch of friends, constantly post photos of their new lives on Facebook, and seem to leave their "real" friends in their pasts. Because of this, I assumed that I would immediately make lots of friends at college and not even think of my other friends once I got to college.

That has not happened for me at all. Something encouraging for me to hear was this: "Most of the people you become 'friends' with the first couple months at college won't be the people you hang out with a year later - they are just friends of convenience to fill the void while you search for real friends". Someone else told me that they didn't find their real friends until midway through their sophomore year. Why was I expecting to make insta-friends? Oh, right, because it LOOKED like my friends were on Facebook. Well, I can't say whether or not those friendships are "real" or whatever, but part of me thinks "Well, they're throwing all of their energy into people they may get to know and decide they don't really want to be friends with, while I take my time looking for the RIGHT people". Sounds sorta arrogant. Probably is.

2. I expected that my hall would be the number one place where I would make my friends and we would all be the best of friends and all would be happy and family-like. Why did I think that? Dunno. It's idealistic I guess. In the end I'm a realist, so I figured I would make my friends in clubs I went to and classes I was in.

Nope. Well, lemme say more than that. I joined Newspaper thinking that I would find people like me there (like me being... vague, yes), but the "community" at the paper is nonexistent and I quickly filed away that hope. I attended a "nerd" club, because at heart I'm a total nerd, but the level of nerdiness there was a huge turn off. Haha. That sounds terrible, but my flavor of nerd is.. normal people who are nerdy inside, not utterly nerdy people who are defined that way and go to "nerd" club.... In the first week of classes, I thought the people in my USEM (a general-ed class) would become my friends because of our shared interest of Jane Austen, but it's hard to get to know people in a classroom and I've realized that lots of different KINDS of people like Austen, so I struck out again.

So where AM I finding people to befriend? Good question.

There's a group of kids from one USEM (the U-Scholars to be exact), that always have lunch with each other right after class ends (10:50). One of my closer hall friends is a U-Scholar and invited me to sit with them one day (I also go to lunch right after my USEM, but usually sit alone). Ever since, I've been completely welcome to sit with them, and I'd like to say that some day, I will be good friends with a good number of them.

Another person I've connected with and hope to become friends with is my USEM TA (who is a senior). As an over-achiever, I've gone to her many times to have her look over my essays and every time we get together we end up having really good conversations. Just last night she reserved a study room in the Library from 8-11pm so that students from the USEM could come to have her edit their essays (due wednesday). I came promptly at 8 and when nobody else came, I just sat there talking to her and doing homework (reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Graphic Novel, heh heh), for a good 2.5 hours. Actually, one other student showed up, and when she was done with her editing she stayed as well, and the three of us just talked and talked and it was so fun. As freshmen, the other student and I talked about how hard it was to find good friends and since our TA loves us, she suggested us all going out to coffee sometime, which evolved into a plan to bake a cake and watch Becoming Jane some time in the future. I sincerely hope this happens, because both of them are so sweet and I would love for them to become my close friends, even life-friends :)

Another gate-way to friendship has been music. A girl on my hall (the U-Scholar) plays the piano and sings and, as I love to sing and she loves musical numbers (mainly Wicked :D), we have gotten together multiple times just to play and sing and have fun. We actually tentatively planned to perform at a talent show-like thing in our dorm, but that didn't happen in the end. However, it still gave us an excuse to hang out and sing "Into the West" and other songs in preparation. I really like her - she is a beautiful soul that I would love to get to know better.

Honestly, the biggest reason I'm having a hard time making friends with even the people I've specifically mentioned is my own shy nature. "SHY?!" You say? "Annie, you are NOT shy!" Haha. Thanks? Well, actually I am. When I'm with people I know, I am loud and boisterous and crazy, but when I'm around people I don't know as well I have a very hard time being open and inviting.

So really, it's my own fault I'm not making friends as quickly as I want to. Will I change my ways to make friends more quickly? Probably not. I made friends without changing myself before, why should it be necessary now? And in the end I need God more than I need friends, so if I rely on/lean on Him, I know He will provide.

PS. I love my roommate (we are definitely friends with potential for greatness), and many of the girls on my hall I consider my friends. I just need to invest more to make those 'friends' 'REAL' friends. :)


Thanks for reading my rambling.

"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return." - Glinda ("Wicked")

Ballroom Dance

This past Friday, I had a newspaper assignment to photograph an on-campus event called "Noche de Salsa". I mistakenly thought this was a performance, so I didn't plan on having any fun, but it turned out to be a beginners lesson sort of thing! I took my pictures, but also refreshed my Salsa moves on the side. It was fun relearning Salsa, but it really made me homesick for my friends. I actually got super emotional and almost cried because I missed dancing with my friends so much. Aren't I pitiful? ;)

After hugs (which I really miss...), I think ballroom dancing is the biggest thing I miss from home (not counting people).

So, how did I deal with this nostalgic sadness? I tracked down the best ballroom in town and petitioned everyone I knew to go with me on Sunday night. Alas, nobody I actually knew wanted to go - "$8 is too much" "I have church/homework/ect" "I don't know how to dance". Pfft. Come on people. $8 isn't that much, it's a three-day weekend, and there's a free lesson 30 minutes before the floor opens.

So, I posted on the SPU Class of 2017 page and asked if anyone would want to go with me! Only two people responded that they were interested, neither of which I knew, so my excitement for going took a serious hit. But I was still in the mood, so I planned a time and met the two other girls in Hill's lobby - only to discover that a lot of random SPU people were going and it wasn't the sad little party of three that I had imagined! I took the bus with four other girls, none of whom I had met before (excepting Leah, who I met one during the Spring for NSA). We planned on catching the 11:00 bus home (last bus of the night) (the dancing started at 9:00), but ended up finding someone who could give us a ride home at the end of the night, so I scored a seat in a car home at 12:30! Whoot!

Now for the dancing. Not sure what style they were teaching, but it definitely threw me off for a bit. I'm pretty sure it was East Coast Swing, but I'm used to starting with the "triple-step" and they taught that you began with the "rock-step"... for some reason that really threw me off. I danced with a different guy almost every dance (for THREE hours!), although I think I danced twice with one guy (who I elbowed in the face when he was trying to dip me... twice), three times with a guy that looked really shy/lonely, twice with a guy who seemed to only know the basic - and was totally groovin' with it, and three or four times with a new friend from SPU. I noticed a great improvement in all of their dancing as the hours wore on - I heard that there were a LOT of n00bs there because it was a long weekend, so lots were complete beginners. I also think I asked more guys to dance than asked me... Haha...

The ballroom itself (Century Ballroom) was really pretty. It had a balcony and lots of wonderful open windows. Prettily lit too. Google it. Here's a picture I took from the balcony:

I didn't have any experiences with rude/creepy partners, so for that I'm glad! :D Everyone was either a beginner or gracious, so I didn't feel to bad when I messed up (which happened a lot).

I had a ton of fun and am going to try to get my floor-mates to go with me next time!!! I still miss my friends from home with a burning passion, but I'm still having fun dancing my feet off in Seattle with new people!!

"Dancing through life
Skimming the surface
Gliding where turf is smooth" - Fiyero ("Wicked")

Clueless

Tonight I had a very King's experience:

My Jane Austen professor invited our whole class of 19 to her house to watch Clueless and eat a home-cooked meal! Only ten or so of us showed up (we took the bus in two packs), but the whole night was just so fun! I love that my prof opened her home to us and even fed us! For free! Cause she loves us! (or something). I felt entirely at home in her house and after the movie we all chatted like the bunch of girls we are (no boys in my Jane Austen class) about the funny quotes, great parallels to Emma, and (randomly) trips to Europe!

I feel like this is a very unusual thing for a college professor to do, but at the same time, it seemed so natural to me because of my background with King's (my high school where teacher-student relationships are highly encouraged outside of the classroom as mentors and friends). Specifically, I recall going with a friend to one of our teachers' apartments and watching Gilmore Girls and The West Wing with her and another young female teacher. Stuff like that was so commonplace at King's, I'm glad it happens at college too!

On Clueless: wow, what a funny movie. I had never seen it before, so it was a new experience and I think reading Emma right before seeing the movie made it all the more enjoyable. I did dislike Cher's stupidity (as contrasted with Emma's well-educated background), but it worked with the movie, so I forgive that digression.

On another note: my mother visited me this past weekend for mom's weekend and we had such a good time together! She stayed in my room (my roommate was staying in a hotel with her mom who had also come for mom's weekend) and we somehow managed to do a lot, but also be really kicked-back and just hang out. It was a happy medium. We baked her famous chocolate cake (she taught me each step so I can do it again), and invited my floor to eat it with us! I was so delighted to share our home-made cake with everyone! EVERYONE loved it! We ate out a lot and had extremely good luck with restaurants - I have a lot of yummy left overs! I miss her so much already! But I'm coming home for Thanksgiving, so I only have to wait a little more than 3 weeks!

Three big midterms this week - please pray for me!

That is all I suppose!!

"The trouble with school is
They always try to teach the wrong lesson~" - Fiyero ("Wicked")